It is Valentines day today. I’m single. I’m in love with love and it is wonderful!
But Valentines day isn’t wonderful to everyone….such an expectation and sometimes such specific limitation. To so many of us it means “Romance!” with the capital R and exclamation point included! To others it represents red roses, pretty cards, boxes of candy, eating out, expectations, big nights with lingerie dreams, sighs, tears and hopes. Such pressure in the world accompanies this day of love.
I thought about what love means to me today as a human and as a soul.
I got to my thought of what love is by thinking first of what it isn’t. There were unpleasant words that I associated with what love isn’t. Love isn’t hurtful, selfish, self centered, power over another, transient emotion, cruelty, jealousy, possessiveness, withholding, based on insecurities, manipulation, ego serving, envious, wistfulness, restrictive, unrealistic, practicality, draining, justifications, lies, convenient, bargaining, clinginess or betrayal. These are words we use when something less than love has fallen apart and we are trying to explain the drama that occurred in our lives. Perhaps our hearts were battered or perhaps we battered another heart. We even say love is a battlefield though it isn’t. We use these unpleasant words or battle phrases to explain why we are leaving a love situation. But truth is that if these words are used the situation was likely not love. It was a situation serving a wound.
Let’s talk about what love is in truth. Love is caring, supporting, unselfish, giving with no thought of receiving, freedom, fulfilling, pleasure at no expense to the other, security, generosity, laughter, light, hopefulness, gratitude, beauty, lack of restriction, flowing, feeling joy and giving joy. These are the words that describe the emotions and state of actual love. These words are beautiful. Who wouldn’t want the things that come with the actual energy of love. We are serving our hearts when these words are being used to describe a feeling, person or situation.
One is not the same as the other though the two situations – serving our wounds (not love) and serving our hearts (love) – are often confused. If you are serving your wounds you look for love from people that serve your wounds. They are willing to serve wounds as they are wounded themselves. If you are serving your heart you are happy creating love.
How do we know the difference? You know the difference by how a situation makes you feel. If you are feeling bad you are serving your wounds. If you are joyful you are serving your heart. We need to heal our wounds in order to stop serving them. Then we need to serve our heart. Not just in romantic “Valentines” day love….but beyond that. In this world, in this moment in this life we are living we need to let our heart fill with love as often as possible. Truth is that all we need is love. If we feel love we live in joy no matter the circumstances.
I would wish for people to heal their wounds by finding all the love they need within themselves on this Valentines day celebrating love. We don’t need anyone to feel the love that is. We can create love anytime we need it. Bake a cake for a friend and feel the love. Help someone on the subway and feel the love. Cook meals for the homeless and feel the love. Give your friend a hug and feel the love. Walk outside and look at the sky and feel love. Look at yourself in the mirror and see how wonderful you are. Keep looking until you see it and know that you deserve love and you are love.
If you need some inspiration to start finding love in this big beautiful world – a song from the past that rings true for all time. (Click to the youtube link with one extra click to satisfy copyrights).
Happy Valentines Day World! I love you!
The simple light that comes from complicated darkness is love….