The value of downtime

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Down time?  “What is that anyway?” you may be asking with a smile.  

Here in America we praise those that have little need for downtime.  We admire those who have “it all figured out” and chase egoist dreams relentlessly.  We understand the necessity of sacrifice to achievement.  We understand that working and playing hard….good!  Spending time with little immediate accomplishment….bad!   But do we understand what the real value of downtime is as we go about living life? 

I’m not talking about laying on a beach getting wasted in the sun with no thought about our life path at all.  I’m not talking about shopping for the greatest pair of stiletto heels and a martini with a good girlfriend. These too are necessary times for many of us.  What  I am speaking of is the downtime that we allow ourselves for reflection and measuring our lives.  Time taken despite what may be going on in our career, the world, the immediate circumstances of our lives or for our loved ones.  That downtime is what we allow when we think that clarity surrounding our life’s pursuits is important because what we do and how we do it may matter to ourselves and to others we interact with and impact.   Downtime is the time we take to “get it right” truthfully rather than pretending we have everything figured out “once and for all”.  

That downtime sounds important so why do we allow so little of it for ourselves?  Culture works against us of course but it’s a losing battle for downtime just in the living of a modern adult life.  It’s tough to find “reflection” when we are living busy and productive careers and seeking a full personal life. We live in an ego driven society and starting over isn’t easy for most of us.  It’s far easier to keep plodding a selected course than to do the work required for changing our lives. I’m not judging.  I confess that there were entire decades of my life that I spent with almost no downtime at all. I spent no time on reflection.  I made plans as a young person and then worked hard to those goals without once checking to ensure they were still goals I truly found worthwhile. As a reformed overachiever and a light worker….I look back at my earlier decades with an understanding of corrections that I could have made long ago and in a less painful way

I do not think I am alone.  I think most of us do this.  We are perhaps afraid to allow ourselves time for reflection.  If you worked very hard for a very long time at one thing…it’s not easy to change course.  It is a difficult thing to change.  Our fears keep us doing what we already know how to do.  Downtime is often spent on celebrating our achievements rather than reflection of what we want to accomplish next and what change we need to initiate as we ourselves change. We don’t have to judge ourselves for finding little downtime.  We just need to understand that we need to take downtime and then be brave enough and value ourselves enough to do it.  For without downtime to reflect on our path, our decisions, our relationships, our spirituality, our passions, our role in this world….how do we check our plans for necessary correction and change?  We don’t is the simple answer.  We can spend a lot of time working hard at the things that someday will not matter to us.  Some of us spend a lifetime doing great things for our ego’s that just don’t matter at all in the final looking back.  We all need to be reminded to take our downtime and the value that it may bring to our lives.. 

I am writing this blog from the rediscovery of it’s value this past week.  I am a light worker.  If you know what a light worker is you will know that I spend a lot of time helping people find clarity, peace, joy and light.  I spend a lot of time thinking about my role on this planet and in this miracle of a life that I have been given. I think about how my energy impacts the world.  It sounds wonderful right? It isn’t always.  Though I am a light worker…it’s not all peace, love, light and joy.  I hear peoples lies, problems, sorrows, guilt and worries along with their dreams and wishes.  I feel them actually.  I am also living with my own dreams and wishes.  My life dream requires interaction in the world as I build relationships, seek a love life as well as maintaining and nourishing my family and forge friendships.  Some people disappoint me.  Some people open my own wounds up and cause pain. Though I do have light, joy and peace…. I struggle as much as the next person. Some days I wake up completely drained from the energy that I have spent shining light as I go about living in this human existence.  It is downtime that allows me to restore, reflect and change so that I grow to the light with purpose and clarity. 

In every life it is the down time that helps us find the necessary corrections, changes or additions and gives clarity and light.. There is complete truth in the famous quote “The life unexamined is not worth living”.  I personally know this truth from the living through workaholic decades of business success at the expense of all else.  I know this truth from the working hard at maintaining certain relationships that failed no matter how hard I worked to maintain them.  I know this truth from seeing a bit more of the total picture of my life and my purpose on this planet. I know this truth from finding my way to spirituality. 

Assuming you can value downtime how do we find it in these busy lives we lead?  How can we have downtime that helps us find clarity? That’s personal to you of course.  Meditate. Write in a journal.  Sit by a lake and think your thoughts.  Climb a mountain and think about your life as you look out at the vista you surmounted.  Swing in a hammock and day dream. Find the downtime that works for you in the life you are choosing to live.  Allow your thoughts to purposefully flow through the people, pursuits and dreams of your life.  What are the things that you chase?  Is what you are chasing still what you are working at in this moment?  Were things left behind things you need to find again?  What do you believe?  What is the meaning of this life you are living. Are you happy with what you are doing on this planet?  Are you happy?  Are you loved? Are new paths opening for you?  Be brave enough to ask yourself these questions then to make changes.  Allow yourself to reflect until you find the answers that create the need for changes.  

Without reflection you will not check your course for necessary correction.  Without course corrections…you might as well throw away the map to your life because you are not traveling with purpose or clarity. Without purpose and clarity our actions lose relevance though we still accomplish outworn and irrelevant things. Accomplishing outworn and irrelevant things is a waste of the miracle of a life you have been given. Little joy will be found in living your life without reflection. Joyless and empty accomplishments and relationships are exactly that…..empty and joyless. 

And so I start back at the beginning of this blog and say….what is the value of downtime? What is the value of clarity of action, thought, intent and change that comes with downtime? What is the value of light and clarity compared to empty, dark and joyless existence? I think it’s just about priceless.

The simple light that comes from complicated darkness is clarity.

 

 

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All you need is love….

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It is Valentines day today.  I’m single.  I’m in love with love and it is wonderful!

But Valentines day isn’t wonderful to everyone….such an expectation and sometimes such specific limitation.  To so many of us it means “Romance!” with the capital R and exclamation point included!  To others it represents red roses, pretty cards, boxes of candy, eating out, expectations, big nights with lingerie dreams, sighs, tears and hopes.  Such pressure in the world accompanies this day of love.

I thought about what love means to me today as a human and as a soul.

I got to my thought of what love is by thinking first of what it isn’t.  There were unpleasant words that I associated with what love isn’t. Love isn’t hurtful, selfish, self centered, power over another, transient emotion, cruelty, jealousy, possessiveness, withholding, based on insecurities, manipulation, ego serving, envious, wistfulness, restrictive, unrealistic, practicality, draining, justifications, lies, convenient, bargaining, clinginess or betrayal. These are words we use when something less than love has fallen apart and we are trying to explain the drama that occurred in our lives.  Perhaps our hearts were battered or perhaps we battered another heart.  We even say love is a battlefield though it isn’t. We use these unpleasant words or battle phrases to explain why we are leaving a love situation.  But truth is that if these words are used the situation was likely not love.  It was a situation serving a wound.

Let’s talk about what love is in truth.  Love is caring, supporting, unselfish, giving with no thought of receiving, freedom, fulfilling, pleasure at no expense to the other, security, generosity, laughter, light, hopefulness, gratitude, beauty, lack of restriction, flowing,  feeling joy and giving joy.  These are the words that describe the emotions and state of actual love.  These words are beautiful.  Who wouldn’t want the things that come with the actual energy of love. We are serving our hearts when these words are being used to describe a feeling, person or situation.

One is not the same as the other though the two situations – serving our wounds (not love) and serving our hearts (love) – are often confused. If you are serving your wounds you look for love from people that serve your wounds.  They are willing to serve wounds as they are wounded themselves. If you are serving your heart you are happy creating love.

How do we know the difference? You know the difference by how a situation makes you feel.  If you are feeling bad you are serving your wounds.  If you are joyful you are serving your heart.  We need to heal our wounds in order to stop serving them.  Then we need to serve our heart.  Not just in romantic “Valentines” day love….but beyond that.  In this world, in this moment in this life we are living we need to let our heart fill with love as often as possible.  Truth is that all we need is love.  If we feel love we live in joy no matter the circumstances.

I would wish for people to heal their wounds by finding all the love they need within themselves on this Valentines day celebrating love.  We don’t need anyone to feel the love that is.  We can create love anytime we need it.  Bake a cake for a friend and feel the love.  Help someone on the subway and feel the love.  Cook meals for the homeless and feel the love.  Give your friend a hug and feel the love.  Walk outside and look at the sky and feel love.  Look at yourself in the mirror and see how wonderful you are.  Keep looking until you see it and know that you deserve love and you are love. 

If you need some inspiration to start finding love in this big beautiful world – a song from the past that rings true for all time. (Click to the youtube link with one extra click to satisfy copyrights).

Happy Valentines Day World! I love you!

The simple light that comes from complicated darkness is love….