To tie the quantum knot…or knot


I was watching the snowflakes outside my window today….

As I watched the little particles float through the wintry day I watched the energy that flows through the universe dancing in front of the window pane.  Beautiful little knots of water frozen in patterns of tiny beauty danced around the parking lot and through the air in a thick white cloud.  I thought of the scientifically expressed energy that binds everything in this universe together in beautiful complicated knots. That snowflake dancing outside the window was such a beautiful expression of the science. 

There is a scientific theory that embraces energetic knots at a sub atomic level. I only know a little of the theory.  I was a corporate treasurer when I used my mind to earn a living…rather than my heart as I do today. Therefore I studied complicated foreign exchange and interest movements….and not the science of the simple elegant energy knot.  What a beautiful ancient theory the scientific physicist has to study when the idea of energy knots is put forth.  Energy does tie itself into knots.  Endlessly, beautifully, over and over again energy knits itself together to create the fabric of the universe, our world, our bodies, our cells, our very DNA, our quarks and our individual vibrations in the entire beautiful knot. 

Modern theory, and modern minds are not to first to find beauty in the concept of an energy knot.  There are beautiful ancient knots featured in remnants of previous thinking cultures.  We find elaborate knots in Tibetan scrolls.  Celtic monks covered pages and pages of their texts with complicated connected knots.  Egyptian artifacts contain patterns of connected knots.  What idea were these ancient scholars really trying to convey?  Was the idea of the simple knot something that we intuited even before modern man created the science to absorb how interconnected all energy is at a quantum level?

I like to think so.

I like to think that we all tie knots in this big ever replicating universe we inhabit.  We tie energy knots with our thoughts, our words and our actions.  Our energy creation is the most basic expression of a knot.  If the tiniest bit within the atom that can be measured (the quark) knots itself into an unbreakable knot (it does) and can be moved by our very expectations statistically (it does)…..what is our energy tying together?  What are you creating? 

I like to think of my heart as the creator for my day now.  Actually, I feel that our hearts are the creators for our worlds.   I keep mine open and send love into the battered world that we live within.  It is a hard time to be human. 

So much of what we have created in this physical world is ego driven and unsustainable. Some of the things we have created are beautiful.    I like living in a warm home in a safe country that guarantees my freedom to dream. I can sit around tying knots of thoughts all day because I am American and that is my guaranteed right.  I have the constitutional right to dream and pursue happiness.   But what should change so that the entire world may be safely living in the way that I do?  How do we create a better world?  What do we do differently?  What do we create by not doing things differently?  How can the beautiful knot of freedom be sustained?  How can the world of humanity be sustainable in what knots we tie together?

On a personal level, the energy knot between two people is also likely to be unsustainable these days.  So many challenges to the human heart and its connective ability to tie energy with others.   Some individuals continue relating on a personal level and creating beautiful energy knots that become moments, that become days that become lives. They are the lucky ones that think with their hearts and minds and create love in their families, their friendships and their lives.

But so much is broken in the ability to create energy knots in our relationships.  Texting, emailing, distracting self prevents so much of the emotional energy knots that have been tied between two people in any personal relationship through the ages.  We breakup without even speaking in the same physical space.  It is now unacceptably acceptable to breakup via text, facebook, email.  It is truly sad if we consider that for just a moment.  It is acceptable to give no energy at all beyond the moment we text an ending from afar with simple electronic words conveying a remote energy that we feel is sufficient to untie a knot.  How can a knot that was so easy to untie be meaningful?  It isn’t.  It’s painless because it was worthless. Nothing was created and nothing was lost.  That broken relationship was merely a distraction on the way to understanding the need to tie more meaningful knots.

Though the times are challenging for heart knotters….I am hopeful.  We all understand the difference in something that moves us and something that leaves us feeling empty.  We all instinctively turn to the sun.  We all instinctively turn to love.  We will get it right as time goes on.  Energy knotting is beautiful when it is meaningful. 

What knots are you tying today?  Are they knots that were worth tying with your energy?  Are they sustainable?  Do they move you and the people that surround you to the greatest highest good of a situation? 

Watch the snowflakes bouncing around your window for a bit.  Those thoughts you create from your heart are just as beautiful and just as meaningful.  A snowflake becomes a drift which becomes a pile which melts and becomes a torrent.  Tie your thoughts meaningfully and as the heart will and you will create beauty.

The simple light that comes from complicated darkness is the energy we tie our thoughts with and that energy is love.



All you need is love….



It is Valentines day today.  I’m single.  I’m in love with love and it is wonderful!

But Valentines day isn’t wonderful to everyone….such an expectation and sometimes such specific limitation.  To so many of us it means “Romance!” with the capital R and exclamation point included!  To others it represents red roses, pretty cards, boxes of candy, eating out, expectations, big nights with lingerie dreams, sighs, tears and hopes.  Such pressure in the world accompanies this day of love.

I thought about what love means to me today as a human and as a soul.

I got to my thought of what love is by thinking first of what it isn’t.  There were unpleasant words that I associated with what love isn’t. Love isn’t hurtful, selfish, self centered, power over another, transient emotion, cruelty, jealousy, possessiveness, withholding, based on insecurities, manipulation, ego serving, envious, wistfulness, restrictive, unrealistic, practicality, draining, justifications, lies, convenient, bargaining, clinginess or betrayal. These are words we use when something less than love has fallen apart and we are trying to explain the drama that occurred in our lives.  Perhaps our hearts were battered or perhaps we battered another heart.  We even say love is a battlefield though it isn’t. We use these unpleasant words or battle phrases to explain why we are leaving a love situation.  But truth is that if these words are used the situation was likely not love.  It was a situation serving a wound.

Let’s talk about what love is in truth.  Love is caring, supporting, unselfish, giving with no thought of receiving, freedom, fulfilling, pleasure at no expense to the other, security, generosity, laughter, light, hopefulness, gratitude, beauty, lack of restriction, flowing,  feeling joy and giving joy.  These are the words that describe the emotions and state of actual love.  These words are beautiful.  Who wouldn’t want the things that come with the actual energy of love. We are serving our hearts when these words are being used to describe a feeling, person or situation.

One is not the same as the other though the two situations – serving our wounds (not love) and serving our hearts (love) – are often confused. If you are serving your wounds you look for love from people that serve your wounds.  They are willing to serve wounds as they are wounded themselves. If you are serving your heart you are happy creating love.

How do we know the difference? You know the difference by how a situation makes you feel.  If you are feeling bad you are serving your wounds.  If you are joyful you are serving your heart.  We need to heal our wounds in order to stop serving them.  Then we need to serve our heart.  Not just in romantic “Valentines” day love….but beyond that.  In this world, in this moment in this life we are living we need to let our heart fill with love as often as possible.  Truth is that all we need is love.  If we feel love we live in joy no matter the circumstances.

I would wish for people to heal their wounds by finding all the love they need within themselves on this Valentines day celebrating love.  We don’t need anyone to feel the love that is.  We can create love anytime we need it.  Bake a cake for a friend and feel the love.  Help someone on the subway and feel the love.  Cook meals for the homeless and feel the love.  Give your friend a hug and feel the love.  Walk outside and look at the sky and feel love.  Look at yourself in the mirror and see how wonderful you are.  Keep looking until you see it and know that you deserve love and you are love. 

If you need some inspiration to start finding love in this big beautiful world – a song from the past that rings true for all time. (Click to the youtube link with one extra click to satisfy copyrights).

Happy Valentines Day World! I love you!

The simple light that comes from complicated darkness is love….

The magical inspiration of humans



Along with many on this tiny planet….I was watching the Olympic competitions yesterday evening.  I starting thinking about what inspired the athletes. What moment occurred to set the athlete up for the hard work and endurance that is required to make it to the Olympic field?

As I watched the Olympic skaters flow with beauty I understood why little children start leaping around the room after watching figure skaters on television.  I understood why a little mind would be inspired to replicate the beauty of an athletes hard earned grace.  I understood as I was once a tiny child “skating” around my family living room in my socks. It felt magical. I didn’t try to ice skate but other inspirations came along and I did try for much in this life I have led.

Some children will find their courage to chase their own inspiration from seeing dreams come true on the Olympic field. Think for a moment of the many tiny bodies all over the planet echoing what they observed as they found inspiration in the Olympic grace of ice skating. How many of those tiny souls will feel that they too will accomplish much as they watch other humans chasing an inspiration?

As the competition unfolded the athletes excelled, some fell down, some faced defeat and other achieved triumph. I felt as though all of humanity were part of their accomplishment or defeat for the few moments they graced the world stage.  As they created beauty with their physical form I could merely watch spellbound and with complete connection to their every move. 

Many things cause humans to take action for something greater than their individual moments. Greed, Fear, Jealousy, Love, Protection, Loss, or Desire are just a few things that motivate humans to action. Of the many feelings we have I would say that inspiration is very powerful. How can I not as I watch the Olympics? I thought of the journey through life that the young skater had taken.  How many bruises from falls?  How many sore muscles?  How many early morning practices and falling into bed exhausted with no time to do simple young things.  What had inspired that skater?  What had inspired him so beautifully that his movements became inspiration for an entire world audience yesterday evening?  

What exactly is inspiration? I feel it is the idea that catches our attention and inspires us to be different than we were before the idea.  It is essential for the human condition to move forward.  Some will inspire with art.  Some will inspire with scientific discovery.  Some will inspire with athletic excellence.  Some will inspire with kindness and grace. 

And so the obvious question followed…..What have I inspired or can inspire?  I will take that question further?  What are you inspiring in those around you?  Is it light?  Is it love? Does it move the human condition forward?  It is truth that on this tiny planet we have choices and one choice is to be inspired or to remain empty. We can create inspiration or we can stay in the dark.  What choices are you making that are from inspiration?  What other choices even matter?

More on inspiration in this video – (You may want to watch it more than once…..)

The simple light that comes from complicated darkness is inspiration

Fibonacci throws us a curve….of infinite possibility


Do you know of the golden spiral? The curve that appears to be the law in nature? The Fibonacci curve is a mathematical principle that has been shown to illustrate the law of natural form. It is found in everything. It illustrates the very movement of the arms of our galaxy as well as the lovely curve of the tiniest seashell. It is ever present. It is ever expanding.

A bit more of the science of this principle – (I suggest you click on this after reading the entire blog.)

A bit more of the beauty of this principle – (I suggest you click on this now!)

I love thinking about the Fibonacci curve. I love thinking of the possibilities of infinite creation. If we can accept that life mirrors the Fibonacci curve (which mathematically seems to be true) then we must accept that the creation of life is as infinite as the mathematical result underpinning the concept.

Imagine for a moment that all of life is made of light (which is also proven to be so) and that the electrical impulses of our thoughts too follow the form of a Fibonacci curve. We start with the kernel of electrical impulse of a thought. It spreads through our brain as an impulse of thought and transforms to word(s) into something that is heard and understood by others. The thought can be translated into electronic form and put into the great collective consciousness of the internet as my words to you are being written in this moment. It can spread and move through cyberspace into your thought process as you read my words. It can spread and move through the world as our thoughts become words that become conversations that become decisions that become habits that become cultures that become societies.

Watch your thoughts, watch your Fibonacci curves of creation and watch your light spread through this beautiful universe of infinite possibility.

The simple light that comes from the complicated darkness of man is the truth of words and numbers



It’s a cold Chicago winter morning In the middle of the cold month of January.  I walk down Madison avenue and my neighborhood gymn window is chock full of determined souls filled with their new years resolutions.   I look at the grim faces. Gazes lock onto me as I walk by and though few faces are happy…they are resolute.  

It’s only a few weeks into the new year.  Most of us made resolutions to change “something” about ourselves.   I wonder how many treadmills will still be occupied by the second cold week of February.  How many resolved souls will find the way back to pizza in the next few harder weeks?   Changes that seem simple in the aftermath of a holiday season of gluttony become more complex as the weeks speed along.  We start missing our old pleasures and sins. Habits are actions we have chosen to cope with the patterns and wounds of our lives…no matter what that habit may be.  It really shouldn’t be a new years “resolution” that we make.  Rather than a vow to “change” a habit… we should instead vow to look at the underlying reason we select the actions that become habits. 

The woman that drinks too much wine in the last day’s of a bad relationship is really inebriating in order to escape the painful clarity that loss is just ahead. She drinks to pretend that she didn’t choose a relationship that turned out to be broken.  She drinks to pretend to be happy as long as she can.  Acceptance of failure isn’t easy to embrace.  

The man that can’t wait for the 11:00 lunch break to go stuff a zillion calories into his every expanding gut is not happy and fulfilled with his job. The food is comfort in an otherwise meaningless day.  He is afraid to look at the truth because he made all the choices to be spending his time meaninglessly.  He has to hold himself accountable for those choices and then change his life if he accepts that clarity.  It is so easy to enjoy the double decker salami and crispy potato chips with a bad ass brownie.  It is the biggest pleasure he can find in the midst of a long empty day.

The 18 year old that drops out of college to smoke pot and hang out with friends is really afraid of making any choices at all.  Numbing the fear is easier than examining a lack of confidence.  Perhaps the insecurities started with absent or overbearing parents that assisted in undermining confidence from an early age.  Perhaps the fear started when the child observed others failing in their life choices.  Dropping out and playing video games is comforting. Dealing with the fear is frightening.  Pot makes the drop out easier.

If we accept that habits and addictions are the result of dealing with our life patterns we start understanding how true change can occur. Facing those underlying fears and wounds is the only way we change. It still takes willpower but at least we may implement change that returns light and joy to our lives.  We lessen the need for our addictions and distractions with truth.   Changing the “habit” without changing the life pattern is rarely successful.  We don’t like pain.  We don’t like fear.  We would rather find some distraction and pleasurable activity to avoid dealing with pain.  It’s a natural protective reaction though that reaction often gives rise to other damages  You can only eat so much chocolate cake without exchanging bad relationship pain for a body image crisis. 

As the weeks spin by and the treadmill gears turn I would wish for everyone to look at the habits they are correcting.  Why did the habit begin with regular choices?  A habit doesn’t happen overnight.  Smoking one cigarette doesn’t create a smoker.  One glass of wine doesn’t make an alcoholic.  One badass brownie doesn’t create a fat ass.  It’s the need to indulge in those pleasures to mask other fears or painful realizations that causes the habit. The truth is that life would be less pleasant without occasional indulgence.  Wine, chocolate, comfort foods are good things.  The use of those indulgences to mask the light of truth is not a wise choice for anyone. 

I know of what I speak.  This year of 2014 is the year I return to dating. I had a long hiatus.  It was necessary.  I am bringing all my fears, insecurities and past wounds into this quest for companionship, sex, fun and partnership.  I have to examine them regularly in order to simply be in joy about dating.  It is hard sometimes.  I don’t always want to keep dating.  Sometimes I find myself  thinking “aloneness” is not so bad and why did I think I wanted to have to face all these fears?  I have a very full and joyful life.  But I also believe that life is better shared.  Therefore I must examine my underlying insecurities, fears and also my dreams in order to make wiser choices and avoid future pain.  I am resolute. II am in the light of my truth.  I am hopeful. 

Examine the reasons for your habits and light will shine into your life.  If you eat because you don’t like your chosen career you are wasting the valuable moments of your life.  If you are drinking to numb painful relationship change ahead you are wasting the valuable moments of your life.  If you are dropping out of life to avoid a confidence crisis you are wasting the valuable moments of your life.  If you spend all your time alone you are missing out on valuable moments of love and connection.  What could you do with that time?  What light could you bring to yourself and others if you spent that time more meaningfully?  Would facing your fears allow love, passion, joy and light into your life in a more complete way? Yes.  Absolutely. Does that take work?  Yes.  Absolutely.  Is it worth it?  Yes. Absolutely.  Shine the light of truth into your new resolutions for 2014.  Make the changes that change your life.  Make that your new habit and love and light will follow. 

The simple light of truth comes from the complicated darkness of examining our habits.




Making sense of the dark

dark makes sense

Have you ever had a moment when you felt that nothing made sense?  A moment where all your efforts in some area of your life (or perhaps several area’s) were for naught?  Perhaps you wondered why terrible things were happening to you.  Perhaps these terrible things seemed to make no sense.  You are a good person right?  So why did things happen to you that were not fair?  Have you had that moment?

I have had that moment.  I have had that moment more than once.  Most recently I had that moment in the spring of 2013 when many area’s of my life were just not working. I had been pretending but the longer I pretended the more the universe assisted me in making my pretense unbearable.  My love life had been a joke as I had been with a man that was not as he committed to be in our life together.  My career was in shambles as I had lost my drive and was mired in confusion about what outcomes I even sought.  My son was graduating high school and needed serious parenting yet I felt so lost each moment. How could I shine a light for him when I couldn’t even seem to shine for myself? I was barely able to put one foot in front of the other.  Every moment had a weight and a stress as I looked at my life with honest contemplation.  I could see a 2 year pattern of bad decisions made for reasons of insecurity, ego and human frailties that I didn’t want to believe that I had.  But the evidence was overwhelming in a terrible moment of clarity…..  One bad decision after another all stacked up into a result of awfulness that could no longer be ignored.

Please understand…..I’m not a stupid, lazy or thoughtless person. I have had entire decades of clarity and success.  But yet….there I was with so many dark things in my moments that little light shone into any given day.  I would open my eyes in the morning and mostly wish I didn’t have to get up to face all the things that needed to be dealt with.  Some days I would barely shuffle through getting dressed and had no possibility of my former level of accomplishment.  The pressure of things undone continued to build.  Everything felt dark and confusing.  Decisions that had seemed positive and energy spent in ways that had promised love, success and security….now seemed obvious mistakes. 

But if you are strong (as most of us are) you don’t stay down for the count.  You finally accept you fell down and fell hard.  After that acceptance you start thinking about why you fell, what you injured, how you fix it and how you get back up and moving forward again.

As time went on I moved away from my relationship into freedom.  Light began to trickle in.  I began to parent my son through some difficult decisions with the clarity the situation required. More clarity and light started to shine in each day.  I began to sell my business and settle my career situation. Finally joy and peace began to build in each day again.

 It is now January of 2014 and I am still making changes. I am facing the remnants of that dark time and understanding it’s lessons. My days are easier. I am no longer denying that poor decisions were poor. I lost the weight of pretending things were just going to work out.  It is not easier simply because of the work that went into moving forward and having already taken steps at this date.  It is easier because I am in the light of my truth again. 

I wake up holding myself and no one else responsible for how my day yields a harvest.  Once again I am accountable for the peace, joy, love and light that I create in each moment of each day.  I send gratitude to the universe for all the things that hurt me in 2011, 2012 into 2013.  Each of the dark things that hurt me also helped me learn a lesson and I am grateful.

It is darkness to find that friends are not always true.  Lovers are not always true.  Your own decisions are not always true.  What happens when things are really hard when most things have always been easy? What happens when you make fear based decisions rather than brave decisions? That dark moment of understanding of mistakes is when a hard working “lucky” person learns what is important.  That’s when the dark times start to make some sense. 

If we never find out what it feels like to be disappointed, hurt, given up, betrayed, lost or helpless….how can we have sympathy and compassion for those that are experiencing that state of being?  We simply can’t.  The darkest times of loss and betrayal or pain are the times that light the way to understanding of the human condition. If you haven’t been bound in a cage you don’t understand freedom. If you haven’t been ill you don’t know the value of healing.  If you haven’t been lost you don’t understand the security of knowing your way.  If you haven’t been completely knocked down with pain so intense you can barely move then you don’t know the freedom of running freely with joy.  All the darkest moments bring these lessons.  We may not enjoy them…we may not welcome them…but we do learn from them.

Grace comes only from our darker moments.  Compassion accompanies the person that understands dark times.   Appreciation of light is easiest as we leave darkness.  Clarity is understood when light shines through the confusion of darkness. 

If you are in a dark patch…struggling for light….push through.  Push through to the light and joy with all your being.  When you find your way back to the light celebrate your joy and freedom.  But don’t forget to look back for the lesson.  The dark teaches us to confront our fears, our ego and our losses. It teaches us to be kind.  It teaches us the value of love.  The dark makes sense in this complicated and beautiful universe we live in….though we will never enjoy it we can learn to be grateful for the lessons and the patterns of darkness that run though our lives.

The simple light that comes from the complicated darkness brings clarity, compassion, gratitude and grace.



If light is a solid it can hold a thought

Light form

Does light have a solid weight?

I know from much personal study of the power of words that words have a weight. Intent has a weight. We can all feel the power of our intentions when they settle in our truth. We change with the weight of our intents. Energy has a weight. Does light have a solid weight? That is a scientific question with spiritual ramifications. Because if light does have a weight then it holds matter, energy and thoughts just as every spiritual piece of evidence has every suggested.

I think it has weight. Have you ever sat in a bright window and felt that the sunlight literally had a beautiful weight as you closed your eyes and let the sun “beat” down upon your being? Have you ever been at the seashore and looked at the silvery beams of a full moon as you felt the tug on the ocean and in your being? How can it not have a weight when it fills us with endorphins, plants with energy and photosynthesis of sunlight occurs across this big beautiful planet? Light holds many things.

All in the universe is connected and there are connections via light. The link below inspired this post today. It is a beautiful video if you have time to watch it. If light is a solid it can hold a thought. The video shows some very scientific matters displayed in a new way with vibrating light matter. Light can stream, it can connect, it can travel and it is the connection to all of us as one. It is solid and it does hold thoughts I believe. Think about that possibility. It is powerful and opens the world differently to us all.

I am not the only one that wants to have the proof and knowing of lights role in everything that is and will be. Science labors to find unification theories to explain the anomalies in physics….we know the answers are to be found though they elude this manifestation of man currently. The answer that pulls everything together and connects everything has to be simple and encompassing….just as Einstein said it would be. Wouldn’t it be lovely if everything were just that simple? I think it is that simple. We just haven’t been able to prove it yet. But this video shines a little light of possibility as new information is discovered. Additionally, I give you a beautiful new science discovery article below – about light forming mass.

The simple light that comes from the complicated darkness shows us our connection to everything.